Hey all  – back in the land of wi-fi and tucked up in Cambodia….apols for the silence checking in – but it’s been just an awesome few days here. It’s another place of contrasts for sure – we can walk from our hotel out into local life one way and see buffaloes, dogs, cockerels, kids bathing in buckets, all the kind of rural Cambodian life you’d envision – and if you head out the other way, you end up in tourist town with neon flashing lights, hard-sell markets, drunk backpackers etc. Now I know a lot of people these days get a bit “travel snobbish” for lack of a better word about popular experiences but seriously – seeing the sunrise over Angkor Wat and the hugeness of it all slowly emerge will stay with me for a long time. As will today’s trip out by bicycle, surviving the crazy traffic and getting to practically deserted temples in the jungle – having to give way to elephants crossing the road!!  Hope that updates both Kkasxo & Shelby at least, been over-due!

And on that note – Kkasxo – so……why are you waiting to June to move out…isn’t that when your family actually leave? I get it may be painful financially but for peace of minds sake I’d think it would be better to find a place sooner and get settled best you can, so as to be able to deal with them leaving a little easier..?  It would also help potentially call your ex’s(?) bluff on whether he is in this with you or not before you are left homeless or worse moving in with his family.  Is he helping you look at potential places, coming up with suggestions – or is it still “too far out” for him to be doing anything as helpful as that or telling his family.  You said it yourself – you don’t believe he’s going to come through for you on this – seriously, look after yourself first, get yourself a home sorted – it is not a permanent solution and doesn’t mean you can’t/won’t move in with this guy later if that’s what you want but it will take out one of the major uncertainties coming up that you can not avoid. Dealing with it is always far less scary than not dealing with it, once you get started. Remember, one thing at a time……

Shelby m’dear…..ha, sometimes we are clearly kindred spirits of a sort! I literally gave up my job last year to take up this travelling/working lifestyle and honestly – it is nothing short of absolutely awesome – so I really really hope you go through with it as/when the time comes with or without this guy.  No, I really don’t understand why you would put yourself through this loop again but I recognise it is something you feel you have to do before being able to move on. What kind of thing are you hoping for from him – what would it take for you to be “ok” to settle with him?  Obviously I’m of the opinion that settling for “ok” is not really what life is all about – but as ever it is what you think what matters. Has it made you feel less anxious, being back in contact?

Emma – I’m so so sorry. You may or may not have read my story about break-up I shared a few pages back now – but I was likewise blind-sided by my break-up, each day hurt waking up as reality would crash back in on me. Are you ok home-wise, family, friends? Do you have people to talk to – I had some great friends who would let me go round in circles on the why it had happened. It took me a long time before I came to realise the why didn’t matter and that actually if looking back, I could see signs it wasn’t working that I’d just been oblivious to at the time, being so happy in the relationship myself. Don’t expect too much of yourself too soon – but yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel, it does get better, I’m living proof having been through it and honestly, now much much happier than I ever was then.  Keep talking to people, stay open to hope and look forwards as much as possible, not backwards. Wish I could help more.

Trio – I don’t think just because you were the one who instigated the break-up means you magically become invulnerable to the pain of losing what was a big part of your life. Likely, the relief of having taken the hard decision means you are now left dealing with the resultant change to your life and getting used to a new future – which even when wanted can still be scary.  Harder when it wasn’t a clear cut “this is all bad”, but there was a reason that splitting up felt like the best way forwards to be honest with yourself and your feelings – try and remember those when you are feeling most scared about your future, it will help.

All – take care and look forwards, not backwards…