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Hi Joan,
1. I highly recommend FlyLady dot net! The house will be in order and you will have some semblance of a routine.
2. Why is your daughter and other teenager not doing their own laundry and helping around the house a little? Even your difficult mother should do her own laundry if only folding.
3. Teenage breakups are GOOD! They show what you DO want and what you DON’T want in relationships! Think of it as a rite of passage. Dare I say even a RIGHT of passage! Do you want them to break up NOW, or when they go to college/move?
4. Scrape out some alone time for YOU to reset and renew. Walks/runs at 5 in the morning (6? 7?) are awesome.
5. In ten years your children will be gone. In twenty years your mother will be gone. Enjoy the craziness!
Best,
Inky