Dear Lily:

We don’t know what we don’t know until we do!

I didn’t know that I could trust my evaluation of a person, until I did. It started in my relationship with my mother, I trusted her completely as all young children do, having no ability to evaluate people. Then I got very confused: she fed  me and it felt good, she smiled at me when she did, and that felt good. She told me that she loved me and of course I believed her. But she also hit me and told me that I was a “big zero”, a nothing and so forth. I was confused and I remained confused when men showed interest in me, didn’t know, didn’t understand.

You and I have to … completely forgive ourselves- it was not a character flaw (that would mean a person settling into a behavior, not being open to examine and challenge it). It was severe confusion due to .. severe damage done to us.

anita