Hi Hurting,

It sounds like she ghosted you last year, but still expects you to be there.

You have a couple choices:

1. You can drop the rope, hold onto her valuables, date other people and not tell her, and let her come to you for her things or to rebuild the relationship. You can even go back to your estranged wife! Why tell her? She’ll find out, what, five years later from friends in town and feel betrayed and hurt?

2. You can give her one last text that simply says, “I just want to let you know that I’m dating other people. If you want to date exclusively, please let me know.” This way you are direct and it frees you out of limbo land. Her expecting you to be loyal to her yet keep your distance for months and months on end is unrealistic no matter what she has going on. You can also drop off a key to a safety deposit box with her things and text her the box number. Then you are free from stuff!

She needs help that you can’t give her. Right now she views you as an irritant even though you could be a lifesaver. It also sounds like no matter what you do you will be chalked up to yet another man who let her down. Again, she needs a professional. Nothing you can do.

Good Luck,

Inky