Hi Kkasxo,

You’re incredible. Helping your friends family is so valuable right now. It our times of grief, the community really rallied around us and to this day, I will never forget what people did for us at that time. I meant more than those people will probably ever really know, so you are a huge gift to that family right now. Will there be a service or funeral? That really helps you come to terms with what has happened and process it a little better than having the final image in your head. It moves that image on somewhat to a more peaceful, natural one. I hope you find some solace in that and well done on going to therapy, it really can be a lifesaver and breath of fresh air when you need it most.

I’m sorry you don’t feel particularly happy with your ex at the moment, I’m with Michelle on this one. Love and support means being their for your priorities when they need you most. But, if you want things to change, maybe try something different and sit down and discuss it. Communicate. Silence will only build your resentment. I would say, ok ex….let’s try and do things differently and communicate more. The other night I felt…….and so on……and then ask him how he felt and what led him to make certain decisions about his night?

You are doing a lot better than you think you might be right now.

Michelle,

Don’t mind my mumblings, I don’t know what I’m saying half the time. A lot of stream of consciousness going on. I just want it to work out with my ex, but I am also prone to absorbing other people’s opinions and I can’t say that people are wrong either so I’m scared and constantly living with the anxiety of the axe I expect to fall again. I just want to be happy but I know for me to be happy, he needs to change and adapt too and I don’t know if that’s possible. A friend I confided in yesterday (who is a guy and an ex and not dissimilar in many ways to my current ex) said straight out…’Okay, you won’t change him. Just accept that, he is who he is and won’t change. Can you live with that?’. I don’t know, I know in the past I couldn’t and I don’t want to settle but I don’t want to be without him either, so I don’t have a clue how to manage everything.

He texts me from his trip, mostly just pictures and updates. I doubt he is missing me too much as there is so much distraction, but I miss him.

As for your return, Im so glad you got back safe and sound. Pity about the weather, it’s gone pretty nippy!