I agree with what Anita says above.

I have two such people in my life, my sister and my mother. It doesn’t matter how much I do for either of them, nothing is ever rated – they are never thankful, never pleased.

I’m telling you now, you can carry on trying to please them for most of your life, and it won’t get any better. I’ve been trying for over 50 years. Nothing has changed… except me.

I no longer allow them to make me feel guilty. I no longer allow them to give me the silent treatment. I have withdrawn myself from their petty arguments and their blame shifting behaviour.

It took a long time for me to realise that, whatever I did it would make no difference whatsoever. So I maintain contact, but at a distance. That distance is within myself. I might see them physically three times a week, and I am polite and maintain light conversation, but that’s about as far as it goes now. Whatever cutting remarks they might make, I take no notice. They can say what they like about me, I simply don’t care any more. If it gets really bad, I just walk away. It works for me. I’m an adult, and I can choose to stay or go, it’s up to me, not them.

I needed to look after me, not be continually pandering to their wants and needs. If they were only friends and not family, they would not be in my world.

All you need to do is give yourself permission to not be treated like that anymore.

I hope by sharing my take on this it might give you some direction. Have a good life, and congratulations on getting your own home!

With best wishes

Jay