Dear Guatam,

She is trying to tell you, the best way she can, trying to let you down gently, that she is not thinking of you as anything other than a friend. That she has no sexual desire for you. That she would like you to stay close but at the same time, feel free to date others and get on with your life.

I agree with all that Inky, Anita and Mark have said in earlier threads.

The only part of that email that rings for me is the bit at the end:

I’d want you to stay. Always. 
Not as a lover, not as anything else, but as a “special someone”.

…So she wants you to stay in her life, but she doesn’t need you to be anything other than a ‘special’ friend. That’s a bit selfish of her, don’t you think? Ok to leave you hanging around just in case.. but not wanting you to get any closer.

I’m not surprised that you are confused, especially as you had thought that this relationship was special enough to propose marriage.

She has told you the gentlest way she can that she is not interested, and (I think) is trying to let you down gently. So it is not to be. So ok, be a special friend when she needs one… but stop the attachment and get on with your own life? There are always going to be tears and sadness when there is an ending, but you shouldn’t let it become a guilt trap for yourself.

With best wishes,

Jay