Thanks everyone for your inputs.

Anita – I have deliberately not spoken much about my relationship with this woman since its another tale. In short, she is a blood relative & someone I have cared for since childhood. She suffers from clinical depression and anxiety. At this point in time, I try my level-best not to give her “ammunition” to indulge in toxic behaviour with me. Keeping a healthy distance has helped us both so far. My husband basically broke open my “safety fence”.

Peter,  what you have said made a lot of sense to me. I will try and practice mindfulness. I have arrived at a similar place with other people before (like the woman I spoke about). I am not able to do so with my husband so easily…isn’t it supposed to get easier once you do it often?

Mark, yes, we have gone to couple’s therapy before to address this. Sorry if I was not clear earlier. It emerged that this was not limited to our marriage alone. This is a trait that he possessed in general. He has impulsive and downplays consequences in his mind. When we were dating, it didn’t affect me so much because our lives were separate. In marriage, his decisions affect me more. (We have been married for a little over a year). Intellectually, I get it that his personality is completely opposite to mine and thats why he doesn’t see things the way I do. But since this thing happened, my willingness to empathize with him has vaporized. I am trying hard to get back to that place.