Dear Hannah:

I re-read your posts because yesterday I confused you with a woman (and her boyfriend) from another thread, a cross-thread mix up. The guy you are interested might be a decent guy and he may have noticed that you are very anxious and that is what he referred to as you being “closed off”. Maybe he is uncomfortable with your anxiousness when with him and away, texting.

If you did meet him again, it would be better to make the meeting shorter, so that you can do the laughing and joking you did before, without the anxiety that I suppose came after. It is tough to feel comfortable for  long with another person when you question your own sanity, fearing your thoughts are not telling you the truth (“Paranoia” is the title of your thread).

If you text him, limit the length of your text and don’t text him before he answers you, if he does.

Tell him the truth, more of the truth if you have the chance to see him again, it will make you feel more comfortable, but don’t have sex with him. You have to know that he likes you and accepts you the way you are before you have sex with him.

It is okay to tell a man that you are anxious and fearful and need him to text you often, as long as you don’t demand that he does, as long as you take responsibility for your neediness, not trying to make him try to satisfy that neediness (an impossible task for anyone).

Has there been any contact lately?

anita