Dear Nichole:

I am fine, thank you. I chose no contact with my mother in May 2013 and haven’t talked to her since and will not be in contact with her ever in the future.

“this time I have to live my own life. And I am. I am surprised at myself how focused I am and determined to live a life I enjoy”- this is what you want, this is why you are doing so well. You want to live your own  life, not a family member’s life, not that ex’s life, but your own. This is what motivates you to work a few jobs, to work as hard as you do- to live your own life.

You are motivated on one hand, settled in your current objective, saving money, but you are scared of the future: “it’s just scary when you don’t really know what you want out of life… What will happen once I did it. Where is my life heading. What do I do? Where do I go”.

These questions will be answered later, not now. They can’t be answered now. Life is not an academic experience where you plan it all and then execute, all in one essay paper. You will know later what you don’t know now. You can’t know now what you will know later.

What you do know now is that living family members’ lives brought you misery, as a matter of fact, family, for the majority of it, your family, brought you a lot of misery.  You also know Michigan and Florida.

But the U.S and the world is bigger than Michigan and Florida put together. Maybe you will choose to live elsewhere. Don’t limit yourself to just these two places because you already lived in those.

Regarding your family, don’t repeat because that is what you know, because of those moments of joy- it is not worth it. As you proceed, you will meet a man who will be different from your ex, and from your family members, one that you will team up with, partner with, work together for common objectives. That will be a different kind of experience for you.

Be open to what you didn’t experience yet, a better and better life.

anita