Dear Cali Chica:

To feel okay, not frenzied, not distressed, but present in the here-and-now, to feel that soft feeling of love, you have to relax into the feelings you fear. The purpose is not of course to love your mother. You already do. And the purpose of course, is not to reconnect with her. The purpose is to reconnect with your own feelings, to let go of the exhausting task of resisting the emotions that are in you already.

The agitation in resisting, pushing down the emotions, now a habit, that is a very unpleasant experience. Can’t feel okay being agitated.

When you notice an increase or a spike in agitation, purposefully relax, take deep breaths, aim at relaxing into that which you are habitually resisting.

anita