Dear Lindsey:

“I stopped by his house earlier and feel 75% better. How does one person make someone’s anxiety sky rocket?”- anxiety attaches itself to people, things and situations. For some people, it attaches itself to spiders and when seeing a spider, the person’s anxiety skyrockets, when the person checks and makes sure there are no spiders around, there will be a relief.. until the next time he imagines a spider nearby.

In your case, your anxiety got attached to thoughts about M, you talk to him and feel relief until the next time you think certain thoughts about him.

So you had a thought that M bought S a drink and was dating her. That thought skyrocketed your anxiety. Next you talked to him and he told you that “he bought her an anonymous shot at a bar and is not dating her, so you experience relief.  Until the next time you think he is dating another woman.

Once relieved, you “feel really really bad about what (you) said to him” and you want to apologize to him. You asked me if you should. My answer: you probably already apologized to him, didn’t you?

How did he respond and how are you feeling today, one day before your appointment tomorrow?

anita