Michelle,

As ever your kind words are just what I needed today!

For the first time in weeks today my anxiety is at an all time high. I don’t know if I’ve had a bit of a reprieve this last month or so because of general life being slightly more smooth sailing or whether the tablets that I’ve been taking have helped (Higher Nature – Serotone 5HTP, they’re brilliant for aiding sleep btw!). I’ve really enjoyed the recent reprieve as I felt I could handle the world, even with my family friend sadly passing away only a few weeks back, I feel that ‘edge’ has been taken off but today, today the anxiety is back and kicking the right cr*p out of me!

Perhaps all the anxiousness around the move is kicking in. I’m finding myself asking the questions ‘Is this the right thing to do?!’ ‘What if it fails?’ ‘What if I end up in an even worse situation?’ ‘How will my mental health deal with all of this?’ and as well as that, today feels like a gentle reminder that I am indeed f’d up really and I mustn’t forget about it – frustrating to say the least!

Reading your recent post, you’re probably absolutely right. I am trying to control something that is ultimately out of my control at this point in time and it is adding stress. I suppose everyone goes through life making choices and eventually it just helps us learn/build who we are as individuals! Although today that feels a little easier said than done!

I’ve decided to switch my phone off for the rest of the evening and spend the evening watching movies and indulging to get my mind off things hehe!

I am honestly amazed by the amount of travel and outdoor activities you guys do! I’m actually planning a hike and camping trip with a friend over the summer around Wales also! No concrete plans are in place just yet but we have discussed it so that will be something to look forward to! Other than that no holidays planned for me this year, I’ll just have to rely on your incredible exploring stories to keep me going! I’m actually going to go ahead and look into this whole house sitting option because it sounds like such good value for money! South Africa for 8 weeks though?! That sounds so dreamy!