Hey Kkasxo.    Sounds like the tablets have really helped give you the breathing space you needed – and just getting decent sleep will make a huge difference. Everyone has up and down days, that’s just normal….some days you feel you can handle the world and others you’re just happy to make it through and crawl onto the sofa at the end of the day!

The trick to it I’ve found is to recognise that it’s just that you’re just having a bad day – it doesn’t mean that everything is wrong/bad. I’ve learned (painfully….is there apparently any other way??! ) to only make decisions/choices whilst I am in a good place as that is when I am balanced, able to consider clearly what I think is best based on what I know at the time.  If I try to make decisions when I’m down/stressed then they tend to be governed by fear, uncertainty. So now if I start to feel that happening, I’ll stop even trying to decide, let go of trying to be in control and I’ll just wait it out until I’m in the right place to do so.  So turning off your phone and vegging out instead, distracting yourself away from the worry was perfect, nice work.  In a few days, if not already, you will be back up and feel very differently about it again.  The decision’s made, you know you are going to give you guys one last proper try and see what happens. If you need something to think about instead, then spend your time thinking about what will be the deal-breakers for you, establishing your personal boundaries ahead as a positive way to know you will be ok, that you are still looking after yourself whilst still being brave enough to go ahead.

Wales sounds great with the friend, hope you get that sorted out. We always try to go to places in the so-called shoulder season, much cheaper, less crowded and the weather’s usually still good. Travel ‘hacking’ is another way to make travel much cheaper too – e.g. our flights back from Granada are costing us £7.50 each since we’ve used credit card points to buy them through BA’s reward scheme. Likewise – house-sitting is an amazing way to stay places you couldn’t afford to rent and since they are homes, very easy to live cheaply in whilst indulging in a few beers in a sunny cafe.  Like everything in life, once you look outside the ‘normal’ ways of doing things, there are so many different ways of living, it’s very eye-opening…..and addictive!

Griff.  You sound like you are where I was at 3-6 months after my awful split. I basically spent that time getting back into amazing physical shape as that was the one clue he’d given to me as to why he didn’t love/want me anymore. I was convinced that by doing so he would see the light, realise how much he had missed me and how desirable I really was etc.  When I got back in touch with him it was exactly what I needed to hear, if not what I wanted. The emotional distance in him just spoke direct to the part of me that logic/reason couldn’t reach – he had moved on entirely and in reality just wasn’t even ‘my’ guy anymore.  So it’s going to be scary but I absolutely understand where you are at and that at some point you will need to reach out to her to do the same. Sooner is better for you, as once done, there is no choice but to face forwards. But only when you are ready. I’m glad you have a found a good therapist to help you through this.  Looking back now, I can see clearly the early signs it was coming as I was very insecure, dependent in the relationship but at the time I thought it was amazing and was likewise completely blind-sided.  You don’t need to stop loving her, you are right, your love for her doesn’t just disappear because she no longer wants you. But at some point it does change into being grateful for having had the relationship, having had that love but now fully recognising the reality that it is in the past, not your future.

Hope helps, wish you well.