Dear Cali Chica:

This is it, the most difficult part of the path, bringing back the tenderness, the softness, that is, bringing back our loving nature, what I think of lately as the “wagging of the tail”, that inborn affection inborn in social animals.

You and I have that in common, we became hardened, strong as in tenderness-avoidant, as in, no, I will never be like her (the mother), soft, only we misunderstood, she wasn’t soft, she was hard pretending to be soft, and that pretense hurt us so much we rejected .. softness by mistake.

It is the pretense, the dishonesty, the lie we should have rejected if we only understood then, if only we were capable of understanding a mother’s show vs a mother’s heart.

anita