Dear Cali Chica:

That softness, I decided long ago, what words I used in forming this decision I don’t remember, but I decided to not feel it again, to be closed and yet, looking  back, I suffered so much. And now, in the beginning stages of undoing this decision, there is that new-life kind of stirring involved, like the sun-is-shining-the-grass-is-green, a kind of a calling-of-the-wild stirring in me, and at the same time, it is uncomfortable, overwhelming. I thought about it recently this way, when our arm or leg goes to sleep, having suffered from a lack of oxygen for a while, I suppose, it has started to die and then we try to revive it, it hurts, doesn’t it?

I think it is similar to this, reviving our softness, our hears, loving again.

anita