Dear Javairia:

My short summary (with quotes) of what you shared:

“I’ve ALWAYS seen my parents fight”, until your father moved out and never stepped in your home since seven years ago, you were 9 at that time. When you were 6, your mother attempted to commit suicide right in front of you, you were the only witness to it. You suffer from a backbone problem that caused you kidney, eyesight problems, and fevers throughout your childhood.

It has been your role to call your father on the phone every month regarding him paying for what you and your two older siblings need. One sibling does drugs and the other, you think little of. One of them tried to commit suicide recently.

You took on the role of the “‘funny friend.. always making jokes.. the happy-go-lucky kinda optimistic person”, and you do enjoy your friends’ company and being the optimistic one. You don’t want to burden them with your troubles, don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.

You are very tired and you are getting more and more tired.

“I had always dealt with self-hatred”, you wrote. Can you tell me about this self hatred?

anita