Dear Javairia:

I didn’t think of you, at 16, supporting yourself if you didn’t live with your parents. There are countries with alternative arrangements for children (and you are still a child) who live with abusive parents, and/ or in unsafe homes. Alternative arrangements such as group homes, certain shelters where teenagers live supervised by responsible adults, have a counselor available for sessions there, a safe home of sorts, financed by the government or some charity organization.

What is clear to me is that it will be best for you to live away from your parents, away from this home-of-origin and never return to live there.

The happy-go-lucky personality, that is a role you found yourself in when dealing with your depressed parents, it made you feel better in the situation you found yourself in, you were the good child  “who would pick them up first ignoring my own mental health, who would cheer them up no matter how hard it was going in school or elsewhere”-

– it is difficult to give up a roles that made us feel better in a difficult situation. It made it possible for you to somewhat endured your home life, but this role will not help you have a good life anywhere-

– no longer ignore your  own mental health and instead, attend to it. Ask for people to help you, not just any person, but people who are able to help you. Maybe that guidance counselor is a person to begin with, maybe she has information about possible resources for you, a place to move to, therapy sessions for you to attend, so to heal and move forward toward a better and better life for yourself?

anita