We only started the couples therapy about two months ago… but I get your point Mark .  I’ve encouraged him to seek his own therapy but he’s very resistant to the idea, said it would affect  his security clearance for work (now a reserves duty vet). I don’t know the policy issues on that, but it’s hard to see your partner not pursue therapy when it could be so helpful though I get people have different cultural and personal perceptions of mental health care. I’ve always found therapy incredibly helpful and constructive, but I realize people have to choose healing for themselves.