Hi both,

Definitely a little bit of an emotional/intense time for me at the moment.

Tomorrow marks another one of those anniversary dates and whilst I keep reminding myself that I am safe and okay my mind seems to be subconsciously wandering back to the events of summer 2018. Honestly, on one hand the human brain is so incredible and on the other it is absolute torture! Why would I want to picture or re-live any of that again?! It is like a nightmare but in pure daylight, and ongoing! So it is tough at the moment, very overwhelming again.. I even found myself thinking ‘goodness I can’t possibly get through tomorrow!’ which is frustrating as it is a complete bad taste in my mouth from when I was in a really really bad place.

But if there is anything that I have learnt over the last year is that no amount of distraction will resolve or make you forget about all of the emotions and thoughts running through your body/mind, so I am just trying to sit with it and accept that it is just a sad time, I am entitled to feel sad, to feel hurt, broken or whatever it may be. If I need to cry then I need to allow myself to cry etc etc, that’s the approach I am trying to take. Don’t get me wrong, taking this approach almost feels like a death trap knowing just how badly it can spiral BUT it is the only way to work through these things effectively.. Or so I’ve learnt for myself anyway. So fingers crossed for me 🙂

On a side note, I think my family may stay an additional few months. I say that but they’re leaving for the summer next week and are coming back in September and then they have to be properly moved after Christmas as my little sister will have to start school mid year. So I’m grateful that I get more time with them whilst settling in.. It definitely does feel like if they were to leave next week now for good i’d be absolutely rattled!

Shelbyyyyy, I am so pleased to hear that you’re really entertaining the idea of leaving work and travelling! I feel happy for you! It seems as though it is something that a part of you has been yearning for for a while and so it’s nice to hear that you’re taking the steps forward towards making your dreams come true! I can’t wait to hear on what you decide!