Hi Nikki,

I’m sure that you do not need me to tell you that this person was ‘bad news’.  If he was part of a ‘cool gang’ then you were well out of it.  You cannot change what has happened so there is very little point in thinking “if only……..”.  You have done nothing to be ashamed of.  You cannot change the two years spent with him.  You cannot ‘leave sooner’.  You were with him and you have regrets.  Shame on him, not you.  He’s the one that should be ashamed of himself – not you.  Unless you grew up with abuse, nothing prepares you for being in this kind of relationship.  I am sorry this happened to you.

The truth is this “shame” does not belong to you but as long as you carry it around with you it will continue to “damage” you.  You have a choice here:  You can choose to carry this heavy load around with you or you can put it down now and move on.

Two years is a short space of time in your life.  You may have been distracted from your studies for a short time but you can still focus on achieving your goals.  You can still make good friendships and meet new people.  You can find love and be loved.

Peggy