Dear blkhwkdwn1:

“this type of obsession” is distressing, this is why you want to end it, end the contact with her and therefore, end the obsession. But every time you tried, you went back again to contact. It just occurred to me that the money she owes you may be a reason to continue contact? If so, you can tell her to mail you a check or checks to work, no reason to call or text you. Or you can forgive the loan altogether, give up on getting what is still owed to you paid back. And end contact with her altogether and for good.

That way, maybe you can find “a girl to chill with.. walk down the street with our arms around each other, picnics, hikes, swim at lakes, go places together, be open, look each other in the eyes, etc.”-

– yes, I am all for it, at this point, ending all contact with her, (to finally “let her go”, title of this thread), so that you can put an end to this distressing obsession with her and make it possible for you to have the chill- romantic relationship that you desire.

Do you do believe that it is possible for you to have this chill relationship with another woman?

anita