Hey there,

Im sorry I’ve not been posting. I’m not in great shape. On the outside all looks okay, but on the inside it’s a puddle. Again, I’m sure my hormones are playing a part, but it doesn’t make the feelings they evoke any less real to feel.

I’m sad Michelle. Like sad in my whole life. I just can’t stop the tears from coming out today. I have so much in my life to be grateful for, but deep down I know one whole truth. I am not happy.

And being unhappy for a really long time in one way or another makes you feel like you could never really know what happiness is.

I’ve tried so many different things in my life to be happy and I feel like nothing has worked. Not in a moany whiney type woe is me moan, I just mean factually speaking, it could genuinely be a case of me being one of those people that can never really be happy in life. There is just nothing in this world that for the type of person I am. It’s unfortunate but I’m sure I’m not the only one.

We all can’t be the same, some people are meant to be happy, some people are meant to be curious, some people are not meant to be happy and we all just share this world together for a time and then it’s over I guess.

Im afraid of travelling yes. Of the loneliness but not being alone. You can find people to hang out with anywhere, but what about the loneliness deep inside no matter how many people are around. I can never fly away from that.

It does however make me glad to hear your stories of daily adventures which make you happy. You’re one of the people to get happiness and that’s wonderful. X