Dear Tania:

You are welcome. You wrote to me: “you’re right that there are no basis for a friendship. And I have been dishonest”. This is not a friendship and you have been dishonest; let’s look for what this is then and aim at being honest:

“Almost 7 years ago I met a guy… I saw him and was immediately drawn to him. We had what I’d describe as very passionate awesome 3 weeks. He was my first and I was head over heels. He pulled back and eventually told me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship but I ‘could just be around’. That was hard. I felt so hurt but pretended like I wasn’t interested and ignored him as well. It took me a long time to recover. It was hardon me. Very hard… I felt the rejection and the pain.. all I wanted was to get his attention… Wow I’m a mess”-

This sentence: “It took me a long time to recover”- clearly  you didn’t recover yet from that heartbreak. Those three weeks meant so much to you, very intense, a first of its kind, an inside-out kind of experience, you were all in it… and not recovered yet.

I think that it will be a good idea for you to attend counseling or therapy, short term, maybe a few weeks or months for the purpose of recovering from those intense three week relationship which in your mind and heart is not over yet. Maybe within that therapy, you will come up with the answers as to what to do next, and how.

What do you think?

anita