Hi Shelby,

I haven’t posted before and I haven’t read the whole history but it seems that your underlying issue is one of grief – you are feeling everything that happens to you really intensely because you haven’t been able to adequately deal with your earlier experiences.  It might be worth talking to a bereavement counsellor for a limited period of, say, up to six weeks.  Perhaps you could put your current therapist on hold while you do this.

It is sometimes useful to write down your feelings whatever they are – erratic, sad, angry, poignant, funny and so on.  Use your diary as your best friend that you can tell everything to without fear of being judged, criticized and so on.  Ultimately, it isn’t healthy to dwell on the past and I am sure that those who died would not like you to be so unhappy.

I hope you can find peace soon.

Peggy