Dear cami:

The difficulties are none of his fault, he is not guilty of the military canceling his leave or the immigration authorities requiring documents he doesn’t have and needs to get. His leaving for work four months ago was something you  both agreed to.

“the worse thing is that I can’t act normal and be loving towards him because I’m so depressed. I love him more than anything else”-

If you love him so much, and the difficulties are none of his doing, not his fault, and your anxiety predated him, meaning your anxiety, depression, loneliness are not his fault either, then protect him from the misery you are experiencing.

You can “act normal and be loving towards him” while you are “so depressed”.

Do what you can do to endure and feel better, best you can and have patience. Act lovingly toward him when communicating with him, so that he will not worry about you and be distressed. He needs to be as calm and refreshed as possible to do his job and all the arrangements that need to be done for the two of you to live together.

If you cause him worry and distress you are hurting not only him but yourself. You are hurting your chances of having a family with him.

When you do have children, a family with him, there will be more stresses and you will need to be strong, a good wife and a good mother. Practice being strong now!

I hope you post again, express your thoughts and feelings, that in itself may help you endure and feel a bit better. I will be glad to read from you and reply more.

anita