Jill.

A lot of good advice already. Your situation sounds pretty bad and I am not surprised you are practically at the end of your tether. You are more like his mother than an equal partner and whilst you let him get away with his bad behaviour, he has no reason to change. You love him deeply even though at a great cost to yourself – so I understand that perhaps going to break up with him is a step too far for you right now. Instead, you could work on drawing up what will and won’t work for you – making it clear that if he isn’t willing to discuss it seriously then if needs be you would rather live in a cheaper place by yourself whilst he takes some responsibility for sorting himself out. A good relationship is a two-way thing – yours is all one way and he has no reason to want to change himself whilst you are there to pick up the pieces for him.

Hope it works out – it’s an awesome move to leave your family and get to one of your dreams of Denver. Sounds like you are a very capable person and worthy of more than this. I hope you find it.