Dear Rin:

If the photo above your username is art that you created, I like it. I see a hand being presented as an animal, 4 legs and a tail, five fingers.

You wrote: “my ex is still living in my heart… no form of logic or reason can get it dispersed”- what is the saying.. the heart has its own reason, or the heart wants what the heart wants. That emotional excitement, hope, longing for a particular person is a powerful emotional experience. Thinking of the hand I see in your drawing, it is as if a hand is reaching out of the heart, trying to reach that person, to grab him and hold him forevermore.

But when the other person doesn’t want to be with you, or it is a bad idea to be with him and to give up the good man you are with, what do you do?

I ask and answer: notice that emotional experience, that excitement, desire, longing, the images they bring up, the daydreaming maybe- you can live with this experience without acting on it. Rest into it, smile as you feel it. This feeling experience is part of you. It doesn’t require that you do anything, that you tell your current boyfriend about it. And don’t try to get rid of it, thinking of it as something bad or disloyal. Be it your private, personal experience for as long as it lasts.

anita