Hi Anita, thank you for replying to my post. I have seen your posts and read a lot of them on other peoples’ threads. I think you have helped a great deal of the participants on TB out. I am not sure why I have felt like such an outcast weirdo most of my life. My parents really did give me a great childhood and always tried hard to provide me with such nice memories, things to look forward to, and a warm & cozy home. I wasn’t allowed to watch much tv or video games. I always was encouraged to play outside with my friends or by myself if my friends weren’t around. I am an only child, which I think somehow played into some insecurities and loneliness. Sometimes if my parents grounded me, I was obviously left to my own devices to try and attempt to resolve on my own what happened, what I did wrong, and how to cope with the sadness I felt for being punished. I never had any siblings to run to for solace, comfort, and companionship. I feel like it has always been my own fault for feeling so lonely and miserable. Something I have noticed that is a pattern for me throughout my life is to say when my mom used to ask when I was living at home was, “How are you?” (with life in general, for the sake of this discussion), and I would find myself replying often, “Not happy.” I was never satisfied with my job or the state of how I felt towards my relationship with my current boyfriend at the time. Something I also noticed about myself over time, is that I have tended to stay in uncomfortable jobs and relationships for far too long– that I knew were no longer serving me, or bringing me happiness.  Do I enjoy punishing myself, I wonder? I’m really not sure sometimes why I have continually done this to myself. Am I too apprehensive to get out of my comfort zone? Am I really just looking to see the negative in life by making myself miserable? What are your thoughts about this Anita?  What are some things that you did not care for with your relationship to your family and how did you improve things when they got bad? Thank you!