Hi K,

I love your descriptions of the elegance of nature – really touching and yes, the patterns nature provides us with are indeed very beautiful.  I have a favorite tree in my local park that I wrote a poem about – I often stand under it and sometimes do some gentle exercises there.  I love the energy that you get from walking through forests and from moving water.  I love the expanse of seas, mountains and the sky.  I often sit on my garden bench during a warm evening and look up at the stars.  I love the changing colors of autumn.  I love a beautiful sunset.

As for cooking, I like fairly simple meals that can be cooked in the same pot – casseroles, risottos, pasta dishes.  If I dine out, I prefer to select something that I probably wouldn’t cook at home for myself because of the unusual ingredients – best left to the experts.

Like you, I grew up being a little on the chubby side and then when I started dating, I dieted reasonably sensibly but weighed all my food and for a lot of my adult life weighed myself before getting dressed every day.  I think this was more for my own approval and wanting to feel good within myself than any external reason.  Diet and exercise became my way of life.

You asked me what I truly enjoy and I am not too sure how to answer that in the present tense.  I became a healer over 20 years ago (firstly a spiritual healer and later a Reiki Master) and I’ve read all kinds of books on healing – this has been a real passion of mine.  It’s amazing that I am able to take someone’s pain away just by using my hands on and around their body or sending my thoughts out yet, at the same time, it’s really frustrating that so many people are so sceptical/disbelieving.  I also find it quite insulting that people who know me reasonably well think I would waste my time on something that doesn’t work.

I agree with you that our brains manage to store an incredible amount of information but I’m also of the mind that if it isn’t broken then don’t fix it.  I think our own minds/lives will throw up the things we need to address, the things we most need to deal with at any given moment in time.  The challenge is in finding the first time we felt a certain way, every other time is just a reminder of that earlier time – it just pushes that button.

You are young, you write beautifully, you have a wonderful fiance.  You have no friends at the moment – this can change.  You are not feeling particularly maternal yet – this can change.  You feel like an empty shell – this can change.

Your final sentences are telling me that you will come through this – you will be able to harness your beautiful, vivacious, divine soul with all its unending, eternal wisdom, power and love.

Peggy