Dear Mark,

Thank you for replying to me. I like how you worded the following:

“You also ask what are some of things that make me truly happy with that feeling of “Wow.” I am still working to allow that in me. I perceive or judge myself by having a damped down sense of excitement and joy. My emotional range is not as wide as I would like. I don’t get really angry or really happy. When I feel pain, I now want to really feel it and sit with it to notice and be with it, to fully get into it. I do so partly because I want to feel the opposite as well, i.e. to really feel happiness and joy for unless I feel deeply with either emotion then I cannot really feel well.

I pay attention when I cry. I like when I cry for I believe that taps what is important and deep for me. I cry when I talk about my children. I pay attention when I laugh as well.

Insofar as activities that bring me that “Wow” feeling, I love dancing to live music with wild abandon with others who are enjoying themselves as well. I know that whatever I do, it is the company I keep that makes the activity fun and enjoyable. I can do something really great but without someone to share the experience with, it does not shine as bright for me.”

That insight you provided talking about deep emotions was really interesting to me. It reminded me of yin and yang and its principle of light and dark, opposites, and how to truly appreciate something, you need to be aware and intimate with its polar opposite.. otherwise you cannot have a true, deep appreciation as there is nothing starkly opposite to compare it to, and it is not unique.

I too feel the same about how I prefer to share experiences and make memories with others. I wish I could more deeply enjoy traveling and truly enjoying food,nature walks, etc.. on my own, but I usually get stuck in the mindset that the experience will always be made better, more enriched, if it were to be shared with someone else (significant other).

• This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by K.