Dear Raaw:

I re-read your original post and your answer to my question.

You are a 26 year old man. Your goal: “a peaceful life filled with people whom I care for”.

Your stated problem: “I have been struggling with a feeling of despair, arising out of my perceived lack of strong relationships in my life”.

You are satisfied with your relationships with your parents and sisters who are “very loving.. cares for me unconditionally.. support me in everything I do and to every extent possible”. With one sister you frequently talk about her children and how to groom them and with the other sister you talk about “issues persisting in her life”. With both sisters and parents you “discuss anything anyone needs to make a decision upon”.

On the other hand, your relationships with friends are unsatisfactory and not strong at all. They talk a lot, “talking and bantering”, tell lots of “jokes and tales”, and you observe them, not being part of their exchange. They, your friends, seem to have a lot in common with each other, but not with you. They are “present for each other in up and downs” but they are not present for you.

You figured that the reason for you not having close friendships with these friends is that although you have interests (ex., traveling, outdoor activities, reading books), you are not “super passionate” about your interests. You shared that you have “trouble forming stories and talking too much” and that you “lack of natural charisma”.

You wrote: “I feel that my life is not happening as others. And therefore I do not have many stories to tell… This is depressing me and is affecting my interactions with my family… I feel lost and unable to find direction to rectify the affairs in my life”.

Raaw, if you want, we can continue to communicate because it will take a few more posts for me to understand better and for you as well. What I figure at this point is the gender factor: you grew up with a mother and two sisters, that is, three females, now all women. Maybe your father, male, was not a strong presence in the home, maybe he was quiet, reserved, so you bonded with girls/ women and talk about women issues, such as the parenting of one of your sister’s children.

The friends you shared about, they are all males, are they? Maybe you are not used to male presence and therefore not comfortable.

What do you think about this possibility?

anita