Hi Katie,

I know exactly what is going on here. Families like to put other family members in roles. Your role is the family failure/screw up. For some reason, long ago, they pegged you as Not Smart.

I’m sorry, did THAT cousin get straight A’s? Did THAT cousin get into a serious course of study (premed/law/PhD/Masters)?

OK, so MY kids were pegged as problem children because my husband’s cousin’s kids were perfect. They had to be problem kids simply because the Perfect Kids label had already been given. The woman wanted to write a Parenting Book using my kids as examples, for God’s Sake!!!

You know what happened? All my kids became winners: a PhD candidate, a Service Academy student and an Eagle Scout. My military cadet said, “Sorry I broke your Christmas ornament when I was little” and her daughters were all, “Mom, why are you bringing that up, that was so long ago?!” Meanwhile she had five unruly grandchildren at that very age. We hear a CRASH! at that moment from the other room!! Woman was mortified!!! Karma is a patient gangster.

You keep being a winner! If you get straight A’s you are surely smart enough to get that degree if you work hard. Then they will have nothing to say! “Our cousin, the stupid doctor”??

Best,

Inky