Hi Robert,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have been having such an awful time with your wife.  Let me reassure you that this is not your fault.  The problems that your wife has were not caused by you.  They go much deeper than that.  Perhaps something was triggered when you had your second child such as post natal depression.  She probably needed to continue with therapy – blaming you is her way of absolving herself from all responsibility.  The way you describe your feelings towards the domestic violence you have suffered is fairly typical, I think.  Men probably receive less sympathy than a woman might and feels ashamed to admit what has happened.  You were and are the victim of her abuse.  Perhaps you would find it useful to talk to a counselor about this.  She seems to have almost ‘convinced’ you that it’s your fault.

It’s good that you are consulting a lawyer to find out where you stand legally and how your finances can be dealt with.  You need to deal with this one day at a time and also consider whether your children are safe in your wife’s care.  Is it not possible for you to stay with your family until you can establish your own living arrangements?

I hope you can find a way to come to terms with what has happened.

Peggy