Hi Michelle,

Sorry for the delay in response, work has been way too much for me recently! Some real ag between myself and my bosses currently and so my emotions are an absolute rollercoaster.

To answer your questions, I have no clue lol. He is 100000000% committed, so he says, but not in a rush to get married or have children. I think it ties in closely with his hypothetical approach to everything else in life and that those things will simply just happen to him at some point down the line. The issue with that is, he seems to be under the impression that one day (sometime in the future) will be a better day to approach all of these things. Now whilst he may be right that there is a time for everything in life, I do also think he is being extremely naive to think there will come a day where he will feel like he is mature enough/old enough/ has achieved enough/settled enough to proceed with this future… He’s waiting for an epiphany in a nut shell.

For me, I’ve always been quite an organised person. I love putting my ideas into action, my goals into plans and working hard on things to achieve my dreams. No matter how long it will take me, I know if I am working towards those things I am happy, because I will get there in the end. So when we were having one of our discussions some few weeks ago I made a point about the fact that if we remain together, I would like to be in a position in which I am ‘not trying but not preventing’ pregnancy at around the end of 2020/ beginning of 2021. I will be 27/28 at that point, I have had my fair share of partying, holidaying, I now have a settled job, a ‘long term relationship’, there isn’t really anything else that I would like to do with my life before I welcome children but I would like the next year/ two years to enjoy my free time and enjoy the flat, if we remain together. Well he freaked out to say the least, ‘my goodness, that’s so soon! You’re in such a rush?! How will we raise children in this flat?! I am not having children until I have a mortgage, I am not having children until I am married etc etc etc.’

So soon? Two years is soon? Would’ve been together 6 going on 7 years at that stage… I will be approaching my thirties, more than reasonable if you ask me.

There is also that that i’d always dreamt of being married by 30. And yes granted life doesn’t always go to plan but if i am to be in a 7 year long relationship with no significant sign of commitment then i’d rather be by myself in all honesty.

We just cannot agree on it to be honest and its come to a point where it isn’t a compromise for me anymore, it is a deal breaker and he is aware of that. I had ‘waited around’ the last four years in the hope that we were both young and stupid and eventually things will naturally progress. I am not throwing that in his face as it was my choice BUT as time goes on, you grow older, you grow up and your priorities change, different things become important to you and those are the things that are important to me, if he cannot meet me half way then he will just have to continue without me.