Dear Gaia:

Clearly you are angry at your mother. Living with her every day means you can’t possibly feel anger at her all the time (it is too stressful for the brain/ body), so you feel calm sometimes, especially when you listen to music and daydream.

This anger at her is justified and understandable. I know this because a child doesn’t feel anger toward a parent, as a child, unless the parent hurt the child (intentionally or not).

Your anger at her needs to be expressed and understood and it is not going away until that happens. If you want to express it here and try to  understand it better, let us embark on doing just that:

How did she prevent you “from attending certain events or situations that could only bring (you) joy”?

– a comment: a child (of any age( often feels guilty about feeling angry at a parent. If you feel guilty for  feeling anger at her, it is the expressing and understanding of your anger that will make it possible for you to not be angry with her anymore, sometime in the future- so don’t let the guilt interfere with what needs to be done.

anita