Hi Katie,

Dealing with put downs is very hard to do. They are meant to hurt and undermine your confidence in yourself.

It’s an ‘I’m better/my children are better/ my family is better’ than yours. You can call it one-upmanship if you like. The purpose of doing this is  that it makes them feel better about themselves.

It’s really a very covert type of bullying.

The best way to overcome this is in just the way you really have been doing. You are intelligent, you work hard, and you will be successful. That’s the best way to show them they got it wrong.

Often people who act like this are putting on a front – they are no better than anyone else, but by pointing out that someone else is worse is a smoke screen. Like Inky said, what great and grand achievements has that cousin of yours got that you haven’t? Is she a child genius or something?

In the scale of things, you don’t see them very often.. what a blessing for you!  This aunt and cousin sound the sort of people you should try to avoid altogether!

Best wishes,

Jay.