Evening ladies,

A tougher one for me today. I am finding myself pondering more and more about my life, my past, my trauma, all the pain that I’m very much still harbouring and the uncertainty of the future I so very badly wish for. It’s heavy.

On days like these I feel completely lost. Like I know there are decisions, options and directions but I am unable to go with any of them. Like there should be hope but there isn’t enough for me to hold on to. Like I should be able to handle everything but do I really have enough strength when I think I am so exhausted my strong has run out?

Its so frustrating because how do you even help someone who is stuck? I know I am not physically stuck yes, but it certainly feels that way.

In a sense I wish some kind of busy would appear in my life, something that would somewhat drag me away from the situation I am in and physically show me that there is more to life..

It probably doesn’t help that I am coming down with something and look like rudolf the red nose reindeer!

Sorry for the rant! How are you ladies this evening?