Dear share:

Regarding your feelings of guilt:

1. You didn’t mention that you were dishonest with him, for example, telling him how much you  liked him, when you knew it wasn’t true, or promising him things and then breaking your promises. Did you do any of these things?

You can’t help how you feel, you are not responsible for your feelings. You are responsible for your actions, for what you chose to tell him (ex., making promises, if that is what you did).

2. Regarding the issue of empathy and guilt: some people abuse other people’s empathy, making them feel guilty. Unfortunately many parents abuse their children’s natural empathy. For example, a mother telling her child how bad her life is, how miserable she is.. the child feels a lot of empathy and guilt, as if it is the child’s fault that the mother feels badly.

Your ex boyfriend, “He told me about how he would cry himself to sleep and pray our relationship could get better. I told him I was truly sorry and never meant to hurt him. I just can’t stop feeling guilty”-

– maybe that is what he wanted, that you will feel guilty and as a result, resume the relationship.

When a young man tells a young woman that he cries himself to sleep and so forth, that is not likely to cause the woman to feel a liking or an attraction to the man, it is likely to make her feel guilty.

Your thoughts?

anita