Hello, and thank you for your replies!

@anita, I feel lucky as I have had an immense amount of support. My family would always take me to emergency appointments, labs and hospitals. I feel very blessed. However, I feel as though I have let them down. They are my world, and I’ve put them through so much. Even now, when I have a flare or breakdown, their support is unwavering. However, I as a person feel as though I cannot support myself. My body and brain have failed me. I just feel lost.

@miyoid, thank you so much for your encouragement. I have tried all types of techniques, including happy music, but it just feels wrong to me. Since, I am unhappy, the music just makes me feel even more upset and reminds me of the life I used to have. I was a brilliant person and everyone believed I would accomplish great things. Now, here I sit, trying to pick up the pieces of what is left. I feel like I’m swiping at air and but still getting hurt in the process.

G