Dear Grenada:

You are welcome and thank you for saying I was brave flying from London to the U.S., but truth is.. I was even braver- I flew from my country of origin to London and from there to the U.S. London was a stop in between flights. But it was not bravery at all, really. It was my efforts then, at 24, to run away from my old life toward a new life. More precisely, I wanted to run away from my mother.

Congratulations for testing positive for the secure attachment style, for having your hard work pay off this way. Remember though that “changes are hard in general. Whether it be a positive or negative change. We are habitual beings. So I think psychological we try to keep changes from happening and it takes extra conscious effort and awareness to go through with it and stand strong in it” (your words!)

When you start a new romantic relationship, there will be challenges and so, some of this “extra conscious effort and awareness” will need to continue.

This is the first thread that you started and I am glad you  did. I know very little about you from what you  posted on other people’s threads, such as that you were bullied in school, which affected your “tolerance for people”, and seems to me what you tolerate the least is people who “pursue people then shut down or not communicate”. You referred to this behavior as being “Like you’re messing with real people with real hearts and feelings, the least you could do is communicate in turn”.

This has been the problem with the woman you refer to as your twin flame, or TF. You are clearly angry at her, or at times you are. You believe that twin flames although “rarely stay together romantically”, they can “turn into a soulmate”. But your TF did not turn into your soulmate. As a TF she has a role in your life even though she did not turn to a soulmate and that is that she made it possible for you to heal: “I’ve healed  through mine”.

And the healing you are referring to is moving through the different insecure attachment styles to secure attachment style. Again- congratulations!

anita