It’s interesting to hear your perspective on things, because I also feel like I’m moving from having an anxious attachment style to a more secure one. And a big part of the reason for that is that since meeting S, I’ve made a concerted effort to only date men who are consistent, who seem to want something long-term and who don’t ignite these crazy feelings of anxiety and self-doubt in me. I’ve also learned to express my needs more, be more comfortable with being vulnerable and end things when I realize a guy is probably avoidant.

Overall I have little doubt that my encounter with S, whether he is my TF or not, stirred up something in me that led me to a path of self-discovery and spiritual progress, and for that I am grateful. I saw the TF video you recommended and loved it (the couple is so cute and insightful!) and I do think in the end the tf/false tf flame distinction is probably irrelevant. No matter how I label S, it’s clear to me that he has had a “sacred purpose” in my life, which was basically to jump start my interest in spiritual development and to force me to re-think and modify my attachment styles in relationships.

Thanks for well wishes with regard to my TF/soulmate..wishing you the same!

Lena