Hi Joe,

I think your girlfriend has VERY unreasonable expectations. I think it’s reasonable to assume you wouldn’t even remember that short conversation with your friend and it should be understandable that you saying you hadn’t talked to him WASN’T an intentional lie and that you just didn’t remember that time he’d asked you to a party. Also, why is this even an issue with her when you hadn’t promised her you’d stop talking to him in the first place?

I also think she should not have been going through your phone as that’s crossing a privacy boundary, especially if she has no reason to suspect that you’re being unfaithful. She shouldn’t have to verify your faithfulness. How would she feel if you just randomly went through her phone?

I don’t think you’re the one that made a mistake here. If it were me, I would be mad at HER, as I would if I had a boyfriend that did something similar to me. It’s not acceptable behavior. I totally think she’s the one that needs to give the apology, too, and she should change that behavior if she, herself, wants to remain trustworthy (You cannot trust her around your phone at this point).

I do think it was good of you to distance yourself from the rude friend when he upset your girlfriend because it showed that you were on your girlfriend’s side and supportive of her feelings, but what was it that your friend did? Was she overreacting with that, too?

It sounds like she has some very serious trust and control issues that I would ask her to work on if SHE wants to continue a relationship with YOU. Otherwise, I’d go find yourself someone who shows you the trust you deserve, as long as you are being worthy of it, and who also doesn’t try to control you.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Valora.