Yeah, I have been talking about the attachment trauma and styles with my therapist. I think there is a Psychotherapist who talks about conscious uncoupling and about there being island and wave attachment types. I know my Ex and I were very opposite in many ways. She preferred to have a care free attitude about some stuff and often got herself into little situations that I was around to fall back on. The over the top instances being her drinking too much so she could have fun but having me to take care of her.

I have unfortunately inherited a lot of worry and stress from my parents that I have always felt debilitated me. That frustrated her a lot that i could just relax and enjoy myself. Thats the main thing that I feel I want to take away from all of this. We all everyone in my family have had this idea of what life Is supposed to be. Even Ella when she was being more of herself still wanted the house and job and marriage to appease her family. Now having fully abandoned that to be her true lesbian self. I know I’m not going to aim for that white picket life any more. My parents are now also divorcing which means they will probably have to sell the large house they got last year. So even after 35+ years of working towards that Its now not going to be how they thought.

I think learning how to live with zero expectation or at least not wanting those things will help mitigate when life starts throwing the lemons my way.