Yeah, your friend does owe her an apology and shouldn’t have done that to someone he first met, but if he’s like that with everyone, it’s also likely he didn’t mean it as an insult and it would be helpful for her if she just learned to let stuff like that roll off her shoulders instead of letting it affect her, but you did the right thing by supporting her and he does owe her an apology.  I don’t think she’s in the right for yelling at you or even getting upset with you.

And eyes wandering to a phone while someone is texting, if you even did do that (as she’s accused you but you didn’t say you actually were) is still a lot different than her picking up your phone when you were not around and actively searching the contents. That’s just not even close to the same thing.

So I still think she is the one being unreasonable here and it just seems like really controlling behavior on her part.