Dear afeels:

Your father may very well be tied to your anger, lots of things are, at this point. But the origin of your rage is in your childhood experience with your mother.  Attend to that first.

To truly leave the past behind, to no longer experience it in current- life contexts, specifically, to no longer experience the out of proportion anger toward a man, you will need to be willing and able to feel the anger toward your mother.

Problem is we, adult children, are unwilling to feel anger toward our mothers, too guilty to feel that. We focus on her traumas, her past, not feeling justified to be angry at her.

The purpose is not to develop an anger toward one’s mother. Instead, it is to redirect the anger we already have, the anger that we can’t get rid of- to redirect it toward the person we felt angry with originally. This way we will no longer direct it toward just anyone, even good people, unable therefore to have any intimate relationship lifetime.

Does this make sense to you?

anita