Dear cali sister:

Almost always, the parent is way more important to the child than the child is to the parent. We imagine our parents can’t live without us but then.. they prove  us wrong.

Think of your history, again, how you were uninvited, how your mother sent you out of the house, that time she got so mad at you saying she has no privacy in her own house because you were there. Doesn’t read to me like you were important to her, more like a nuisance.

When I cut contact with my mother I went through a whole lot of guilt and distress. But that doesn’t mean it has to be the case for you as well. I no longer feel guilt because over time I was able to separate in my own mind between these two things: my need for her vs her need for me.

I needed her all along, I loved her- not the other way around.

This was mind boggling to me, didn’t know it.

And you are welcome, cali sister. I am glad we are communicating again, and unlike last time when I got impatient with you (I regret it)- it will not happen  again, I know it.

anita