Anita/Valora-

I did see the post from Valora and I appreciate the feedback as to what my wife may be feeling. I try to understand the pain she may be going through and I know the scars both physical and emotional will always be there. But I can’t pretend to know what she may be going thorough, as dark as they may be, if she doesn’t present it; even when asked.

This statement from above: Maybe she thought you will feel better if you saw her feeling better and functioning well- maybe she thought moving on was going to help you too. Takes into a lot of assumptions as to what I may be feeling, when I clearly stated that I was not happy with the way we were handling things. And you make the affair sound like I was out all night, never home, never paying bills, never taking care of our small farm, never running the kids to school or activities, never feeding the kids and making dinner so my wife could go out with friends or ride her horses, never cleaning or pitching in to help our household run. We share the responsibilities and I am thankful that she works hard both at home and at work. But marriage is more than just shouldering responsibilities and I know I have violated that trust.

I don’t know if you have ever been in a relationship as to where your physical/emotional needs have gone unfulfilled, but the death of our son has really brought into question the stability of the foundation of our relationship to the forefront and magnified the holes in our marriage. I know the affair does not help this in any respect.