Dear cali sister:

Since I last posted to you I was busy going over quotes of your sharing in previous threads, got them ready for your reading, if and when you want them.

Take the day easy, best you can. Because this is your sister’s birthday weekend, let the day be about her. If you get tired and not feeling up to it, excuse yourself at any one point in the day and go back home or to the movies or wherever you can have alone time.

As I pointed yesterday, my primary concern as I communicate with you, is your well being. So it is not that I am thinking: cali sister is bad and she will hurt cali chica. Not at all. I am thinking: I want cali sister to be okay today, and if she doesn’t share about her struggles with CC on CC’s birthday weekend, it will be better for cali sister!

Regarding what you asked me to elaborate about- I have no doubt that from time to time you will think and feel fondly toward your father and I don’t want those moments of affection to cause you to contact him/ them (your parents, a unit).

So I brought up the reality, that a child has to have some sense of safety or hope for safety, so to not be in a state of unbearable dread. Unbearable as in- impossible to endure. So a child makes believe things- anywhere from daydreaming about a different kind of life to .. daydreaming, in a way, fantasizing about a parent being good. So a child magnifies in her mind any evidence of goodness and sees it as a whole lot.

When you think of your father, I want you to remind yourself about that magnification of childhood as well as put in that bigger picture of who your father was to you, the abuses as well.

Did I explain myself clearly?

anita