Dear Samantha:

“I literally don’t understand why I’m obsessing over not having closure about the cheating or whatever as he was a complete idiot and the relationship wasn’t right”-

– when you say he was a “complete idiot”- it sounds like he made mistakes, nothing serious. When you focus on the cheating, it is as if the cheating was the one bad thing in the relationship, or the worse thing.

But this behavior: “screaming, hitting himself in the head.. scream at me in my face and swear at me.. he ripped my dress from top to bottom in rage.. trashed my apartment and started screaming at me again”- this behavior is worse than cheating. And the fact that he swore at you  in Spanish doesn’t make it cute, or exotic. Not if you are sensible in how you view people and situations.

A person is dangerous when not in control of his or her behavior. Reads like he lacks adequate self control and because of that he can seriously hurt himself and others. Don’t be that other that he can hurt. And if there is something you can do to protect others from a person out-of-control, children, the public at large- do so.

anita